Is it wrong to think "Jackpot!!" when you see pretty young woman buying the morning after pill and smiling?
I'm in the mirror right now practicing my "Oh, I didn't know my fly is open" face. (Editors note: I know it's open.)
Ladies did you know that giving me daily booty is the cure for several major illnesses? *thinking*...are they buying this? God I hope so!
A dog is mans best friend....oh...that explains why he's humping your girlfriends leg...wait, what?
Mac vs PC. Said quickly that sounds like the name of a 70's era blacksploitation porno movie doesn't it?
Just got back from a long trip to Lowe's. I didn't know the store was named after the mood & esteem of the cashier I got.
While everyone else was playing spin the bottle, me and the girl that drank the contents of the bottle were in the closet screwing.
Her: Where do you get off?... Him: *Points to her genitals* Her: *Laughing* What am I going to do with you? Him: *Points to the bedroom*...
If I ever marry an Ice skater and you come to my house to visit...call first because I will be constantly bottomless. Those ladies are hot!!