Dear hot women, I speak for all average looking guys when I say, "Please start marrying and/or getting it on with us earlier in your life. We know that we're NOT your first choice...but don't make it so damned obvious and in our faces. Thanks."

"Shoot for a threesome. Settle for anal." - My grandpa.

He gave the best advice. Yeah, Thanksgiving was always fun!

What kind of ass tries to sell products on YOUR Facebook page? They must not know MY friends. They f*cked up big time! Enjoy your email!

My bed bug home delivery business is not doing as well as I'd hoped. Damned economic collapse!