Cable companies, experiencing losses? Aw. I know how you can save money. Fire customer service reps that are rude A-holes. You're welcome.

Dear Wall Street, my 8 year old cousin is scared by less than you. Punk asses.

Dear a-hole teens attacking people in flash mobs, I hope the next group you attack is from a Krav Maga, expert level, full contact class.

Stop saying ve-HIC-le. It's annoying.

Dear actors that can't play a drunk....really? You live in Hollywood, with all of that substance abuse source material and you can't play a drunk? *drops keyboard and walks out of the room*

Dear Walmart, I'm sure that I'm not the ONLY person in the world that wears size 13 shoes. Maybe, just maybe you should stock some dammit!

Traffic reporter that I know... gave me a ride to my car...got lost...I'm STILL laughing.

Dear press, stop calling the lady missing in Aruba "The NEW Natalie Halloway" It's NOT a new CW sitcom. A lady is MISSING... morons.

I was just bullied by Rebecca Black.

S. Anthony Thomas. 68 inches of delicious cocoa goodness. Oh, that is ALSO my height.

I used to love when women called me "Big Brother", now I think of a crappy TV show. What a mood killer. (FYI, I still get it on with them)