Young men that live with women for the first time, her showers that are LONGER than 10 minutes= you will probably be fucking soon. Unless you do something stupid to screw it up. Just so you know.

Hey Herman Cain, that smile at the end of your weird campaign ad has "Sexual Harassment" written all over it!



I would love 72 days with Kim K. They would have to be spread out over a couple of years though...

Happy "Get annoyed by OTHER people's children begging at your door" day!

I'm trying to get "hating your relatives" accepted as an Olympic sport. If I can, that gold medal is MINE!!!!

TV, tell the truth, you're not even trying anymore are you? Come on, you can tell me...

Rick Perry....crazy speech. That's better than sexual harassment. YOUR turn Herman Cain.

If you bring your kid to MY house after 8pm on Halloween...I'm handing out really loud noise makers. Yeah, let's see how YOU like being annoyed!