S. Anthony Says...

Don't borrow money from the homeless if you can't repay. They will sit outside your house and wait for you. What else do they have to do?

They say that you gain 1 inch of penis for every 35 pounds that you lose...and thus the reason for the spike in male anorexia is explained.

The Three Stooges were probably right. If only we could solve our problems with a few pimp slaps and a couple pies to the face....

Why do I love the new Healthcare bill? One of the add-ons makes it legal to drop kick strangers that say "Nice weather we're having"

Yo mama jokes to start a fight have been replaced with "I have a small disagreement with you on politics/religion" "What?" *balls fist*

If your girlfriend says where is this relationship going?...always say "Hopefully the butt!" If she gets mad "just kidding" If not...Score!

If you are in the same room with someone and your genitals aren't rhythmically colliding STOP SCREAMING!#myneighborisanassholesometimes