Saturday, March 20, 2010

The S. Man Says...

I warm up for my workout by b*tch slapping pitbulls on PCP. Yeah, you heard me. The X-games have nothing on me!

He's a valuable asset, that's why we locked him in the safe sir. Telling my wife that I knocked up my secretary had nothing to do with it.

70 degrees today. Good news: Tank tops on. Bad news: Headlights off.

Maybe I should stop referencing my fictional wife in my jokes until I at least get a friggin' girlfriend. Ya think? ;-)

Cunnilingus...is 60-90 minutes too much? #guyoblivioustowhyheissopopular

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