Waterpiks® will mess up your afro. Don't let the name fool you.

Please end your long boring story BEFORE earth's sun burns out.

"Price check on Viagra!" 
- Teller

*grabs mic from teller*

"That's right, I'm STILL getting some action people!"
- Me when I get old 

I don't approve of seeking the approval of people that don't approve of you.

I have figured out how to shoot spray cheese into my mouth in the supermarket, still look heterosexual and avoid arrest. I am a Genius!