Cut off MY ear to impress a woman? No. I did however make a wonderful desk gnome out of ear wax for a lady.

...yeah, got the drawers.

She was on the phone laughing with friends...you came home with lipstick on your cheek...she saw it...

...climate change.

*sees kid in baby stroller*

"Damn, you need to screw better looking people! Look at that ugly little..."

*wakes up in ER*

The NSA just broke into my phone call and screamed ."Get to the point already!" To be fair, that guy was rambling a bit