I'm watching the news and wondering if Edward R. Murrow will EVER stop spinning in his grave. I hope he didn't see Kill Bill Vol 2...

The DMV was full of pretty, happy people and we were out quickly. I won't buy lottery tickets for a month, I've used up my good luck.

Every 60 seconds, someone, somewhere is (Insert ANYTHING). There are 6 billion people, this cliché applies to EVERYTHING marketing geniuses!

If you say "BOOM" EVERYTIME you put the weights down during a workout, strangers can kick you in the ass, right? (I'm gonna kick him anyway)

How long before "Three's Company the Movie" with Vince Vaughn as "Jack Tripper"? C'mon, cast the rest of the Movie. You know you want to...

Why are all of my fiends trying to get me to eat my first Krispy Kreme Doughnut? I'm trying to get in shape before the summer! D-bags!!

More snow. What the hell did Father Nature do? He needs to stop looking at Hooters waitresses butts. Think of US Father nature!!!!

"Don't tell your friends what I did to you last night, I don't want them to look at me funny." - Me to every woman that I've "Been" with.