trump. Asshole. Potato. PotAto.

A thong, a two piece bathing suit or one piece...a sweet ass is a sweet ass. Stop worrying ladies, I'm there for you.

I bought those new sneakers that "replace your trainer". I tried to make love with them.... I want my trainer back...she's got boobies.

To avoid arguments, stay away from religion and politics. I was just saying that to your mother and wife as we finished our threesome.

Do good things, don't do bad things. Yup. You're welcome. Giving "Self help talks" is what I do. Again, you're welcome. Pay on the way out.

I never WIN popularity contests...then again I don't enter those motherf*ckers either. So there's that.

Wait, the Royal Wedding is OVER!?! *throws down plane ticket, rips up invitation*

First Chelsea Clinton, then William & Kate decide not to invite the Obamas to their wedding. Don't young white couples know how much fun middle aged black couples are at parties?

Breaking Fake News! In another slap in the face to the President, trump doesn't invite the Obamas to his cross burning. Film @ 6 & 11.

I'm thinking up lame side products to sell when my career stalls and I need attention.

William IN Kate. THAT I'll watch at 4am.

Breaking Fake News! trump realizes that his Taj Mahal in A.C is named after a building in India, vows to bomb it during his inauguration.

I really want Oprah and Gayle to make out on her final show. Also at my house.

I'm thinking up lame side products to sell when my career stalls and I need attention.

Orly Taitz. Donald Trump. NEVER in the same place. Discuss.

Maury just got an invitation to the Royal wedding....uh oh.

I'm hoping that the people who ridiculed Lara Logan right after her assault, keep their f*cking mouths shut after her interview Sunday.

With the Royal Wedding being at 4am, it's sure to DOMINATE the methhead and hooker demo. Sorry Jersey Shore!

Either that dog is in the middle of brushing his teeth...or you may want to bet back in the house NOW!

I'm getting tired of having my teeth clank against your boob piercings ladies...I won't stop slurping your boobs though. I'm not crazy!

Breaking Fake News! President releases college transcripts, proves brilliance, Trump breaks down, pisses self, chants N-word. Film @ 11!

Mr. Trump, stop taking it out on the President. It's NOT his fault that Omarosa wouldn't give you any p*ssy.

"Silly bigots, birth certificate tricks are for kids!" #trumpbreakfastcereal

S. Anthony says... (Message to a Media Whore)

A disingenuous, bigoted, lying, cowardly, mean spirited, media whore. That is how I would describe Mr. Trump. It had LONG been established that Mr. Obama was born IN THIS COUNTRY, yet you continued to keep this ridiculous story alive because it was THE ONLY way you could get Presidential press.

You threw your lot in with the "birthers". I as an African American man, know what it's like to have my achievements and intelligence disrespected and dismissed by someone who refused to believe that "someone like me" was capable of such things. That is what being a "birther" is about. They seem to me to be people who can't take having a person of color in the White House. It's the only way to describe the idiocy of these completely inaccurate and moronic claims.

I don't know if you're a racist, but what I do know is this:

If you try to get into the good graces of racists.... (See description of "birthers" above)

And/Or

...use badly veiled racist arguments (How'd HE get into...?)

Well then you might be a....

You should be ashamed of yourself, but I know you're not. Media whores usually aren't. That's what you are sir, a media whore...you're just a vagina-less one, because you have NOTHING to offer and NOTHING to back up your lies.

- S. Anthony Thomas.

(One of "The Blacks" who actually watched your show, but NEVER WILL watch ANYTHING you're on again)

I just found the President's birth certificate in my glove compartment. Well Trump, I guess you'll have to discuss policy now...come back!

Breaking Fake News!!! Trump says that Obama isn't qualified to be President because he doesn't pass the "Paper Bag test" Film @ 11

Single payer in Vermont? That dude is going to be broke! Oh, you mean... nevermind. #cornyonpurpose

In a response to NBC's "THE VOICE"....Spike TV brings you "The Armpit Fart"

Congress has become a bizzarro street gang. They get into the club with NO problem...and the middle class gets "*jumped in". (*Look it up)

*****

I have ALWAYS BEEN an outsider that was cool enough to be offered temporary guests passes by cliques. It USED to bother me. Now? Nope. As a young person it was painful, but it turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

I became a critical thinker. I mean, I had NO group to think FOR me. I wish that I could tell the little me years ago, that the mean treatment and game playing by the "Cool Kids" would actually make me ridiculously strong and exponentially more intelligent emotionally. Thanks assholes!

*****

MY bible actually has the Easter bunny in it. If YOURS doesn't....you are the problem, heathens!

Boom! (To be different, I like to accent non-actions with that) *silence* I just pulled someone from a burning car. Yeah, opposites are fun.

Hey religious leaders who milk extreme political issues, you're making the number of atheists in the U.S. look like the national debt clock.

Hayley Barbour isn't running for President. Neither am I. The news has exactly the same impact. That is all.

"Winning" a "War"....talk about words that should NEVER be in the same sentence...

The U.S. is starting to resemble an expanded version of the "Stanford prison experiment"

Looking on my GPS for “The f*ck outta here”…because that’s where I’m going.