My nephew just told me what twerking is. Now I have a name for what I do when I go to the porch to get my newspaper. Ha, just kidding. No one reads papers anymore!

Creed Frontman Denounces Obama. In other news, no one gives a shit.

When I watch cable news, (you know who I mean) "exposing" the Obama tape...and calling HIM racist, it's the pot calling the kettle nigger.

Breaking News! Tape surfaces of President Obama as a baby, crawling on a... RED carpet!
Communism!!!!!!!!!

Newt Gingrich in..."Dog whistles be damned!" The new one man show about an irrelevant bigot whoring for attention. Tickets on sale NOW!!!!

Breaking News! OBAMA (Insert innocuous action) AND He (Insert innocuous action) Well? Well? It would help if you people were crazy bigots!

Romney's election twerk team is a row of blow up dolls wearing diamond necklaces.

The block of voter suppression in PA is real. I went to visit relatives and workers were removing the pit bulls from the polling booths.

"Dear Billionaires, shut the fuck up. No one feels sorry for you."
- Everybody else

Breaking! Fox news to change the name of their network to "The Tool Box"....because they're full of tools...yeah....I'll be here all week...