Ever take something long and put it deep inside something tight and moist? Whoa, it's NOT what you think! I was talking about us having sex.

If someone tells you who they are, believe them, unless they're too complimentary. Then they're only telling you they're lying tubs of crap.

Don't do that wishful thinking or positive visualization crap. Just find people that don't know you and lie to the bastards. It's easier.

THAT many people sit in the audience of Wheel of Fortune? Does the census department know that there are that many dweebs here?

I like to break into hotel maid's homes and leave smashed, semi melted, stale chocolates on THEIR pillows. DON'T JUDGE MY HOBBIES!