Happy Mother's Day! And to those of you that aren't moms... *checks breath* *in voice of Joey from Friends* How you doin?

Thank you Genie Bra infomercial for giving men permission to look at delicious breasts for 30 minutes...and giving us the I'm buying one for you excuse if we get caught.

YOUR religion isn't better than someone else's. Oh, and while you're at church that guy is boning your wife AND daughter WHO ARE CONVERTING.

Wait FREE HD....for LIFE!?! Alright! Wait, FREE COLOR AND SOUND for LIFE too!?! Cable company, you are TOO generous!

I make exact duplicates of women's buttocks to practice on before I enter the real thing. #genitalteamsix

Singers of the world, advertising agencies, STOP doing covers of James Brown songs. He's cooler that you will ever be. Use the real thing.

YOU ARE THE HARBORER!!!! - Pakistan failing a lie detector test after the USA takes them on the MAURY show

Special message. Ladies, if we are in a romantic relationship and you're not on your period...I want IN. SURPRISE!!!!