Just saw a Prius with a Bush-Cheney bumper sticker, wrapped around a pole....accident or did the car commit suicide?...

So, you thought that your girlfriend, the 20yr old stripper was going to be faithful? Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...

I believe in Kaizen...constant SELF improvement. Put the tools down. I'm ALREADY assembled. Unwrap me...and ride. 

Oh crap, I'm starting to feel like I want to go and get a new girlfriend. I hope the next one isn't crazy....I mean isn't crazy OUT of bed.

I wish that there was an "after relationship pill"...

If you go home with a woman and she has 20 cats...you WILL get laid...but you will not get OUT and if you don't see any cat food, you're it.

When you caress a woman's ass you must have your tongue on her earlobe. It works on strangers too! If you get arrested, YOU missed the spot.